Sunday 28 April 2013

Top Ten Tips On How To Snatch Another Woman's Husband.(Pun Intended)


Are you looking for ways to snatch someone else's husband?To break into someone else's home and steal the man away?You have tried several ways but the 'husband' is not looking your way.Have you tried to reach out to Funke,Mercy,Foluke,Ini,and the latest snatcher in town errrm.....ww. das all?and all avenues failed?Not to worry my dear,these are a few tips for you.Follow them religiously and you will be answering his Misses in no time.

1)First and fore most you must be a nollywood star.Excuse me I said star.Which means you must be well known.If you are well known and you succeed with the snatching no one can come near you.They can only shout from afar. but if you are not popular at all or you are still struggling and you try to snatch,Omo,the way they will beat you ehn!

2)You have to know whom you want to snatch in advance.You must have been plotting your plans for months even years,You can't just wake up today and decide to snatch today.No,no,no.They fit punch you in the face o.

3)The person must be ready to be snatched.Be sure the man is ready to be snatched.He's already nagging about his wife at home,he's already keeping late nights,doesn't really eat nor does he sleep at home anymore.Yes!Those are the type that can be snatched.

4)Then,you spring up actions.First,you become business partners.You open shops together.Selling different things.Anything you like you can sell.Maybe clothes,shoes hair,wigs.I don't know but just open shops together or both of you can become political activists together pretending to be interested in the state of affairs of your country.Ask Foluke D how she did that.Only you know your plans abi?

5)Now you are business partners.From there,you can start forming some emotional attachment towards the guy.You first pretend to be sad,you will just cry at every given opportunity.When he sees you cry he can't just stand and watch you.He gives you a shoulder to cry on and as a sharp girl when a guy gives you his shoulder to cry on what do you do?You cry cry cry.And then you cry cry cry again till his shouder gets soaked with your tears and while you are doing the crying don't forget to try and mumble some words together like '' I just want to die,I hate my life,everybody hates me.God God God.(you calling God does the magic).Remember all these drama is happening on his shoulder.He feels sorry for you,he tries to calm you down,he pats you on the back.An emotional  attachment has been established.

6)You become friends.When people ask you what's going on between you and lagbaja's husband,you tell them you are just friends and business partners.Yoe keep telling people you are business partners for about a year or so.Even if they don't believe you,that is their f***ing business.You know what you are aiming at.You don't reveal to any soul your plans or else they will turn your golden morn into garri.

7)Now the man has you in mind already.If he thinks of ten things in a day,yours came up about three or four times.Are'nt you getting somewhere?

8)Be sure to work on his wife's shortcomings or weakness.If his wife is yellow be dark.If his wife acts yoruba movies you act in English,If his wife is short you can be tall.If his wife has one child you make sure you have two children or no kid at all,if his wife lives in lagos you vamoose to Abuja,if his wife lives in canada you live in lagos.That is how it works.Ask all the names i've mentioned above.

9)By now both of you are already very close.You have succeeded in working on his wife's weakness and you are obviously winning.hehehe.well done.Keep working hard.Because he's going to propose.I swear he will.But when he does remember the whole world will almost tear you apart.They will call you names,lots of unprintable names,journalists will feed fat on the gists,so many will hate you.Don't worry darling,it wiil soon pass.Another big scandal will happen to someone else and yours will become history.

10)The Wedding:He finally proposes.You can decide to have a big wedding like Funke,Ini,Mercy,Foluke or just do it secretly like ww.das all.and when he finally puts a ring on it,go on facebook,twitter or instagram,look at the ex wife's picture and shout ''in your face looser,in your face.I married the bastard''.**wicked laugh**Life itself is not fair.

Disclaimer* I am not in any way encouraging husband snatching.If you believe any of these,don't you think it's time you went for a check up?lol.Enjoy the rest of your day.
       
                                                                          Thank you for
                                                                           Stopping by

12 comments:

  1. U don seriously crase finish.ROTFLMBO

    ReplyDelete
  2. Toun!!!

    (Yummy mummy)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Toun!!! U crazy!..lmao....but how come u didnt mention stella damascus!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. she did o.i think she's www.das all.abi Toun?
      come here come and defend ur write up.
      u just killed m with laffter

      Delete
  4. lmao u just made my sunday.lol at turn your goldenmorn into garri.classic

    ReplyDelete
  5. )''Be sure to work on his wife's shortcomings or weakness.If his wife is yellow be dark.If his wife acts yoruba movies you act in English,If his wife is short you can be tall.If his wife has one child you make sure you have two children or no kid at all,if his wife lives in lagos you vamoose to Abuja,if his wife lives in canada you live in lagos.That is how it works.Ask all the names i've mentioned above.''

    these lines just finished me.nice write up.very hillarious

    ReplyDelete
  6. i can see u tried to make a mockery of these ladies.i hope u are single?cos if u are married you are giving these girls tips on how to snatch ur husband.Gbam!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. BESTSELLER ARTICLE. THUMBS UP

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hey!I'm glad you all liked it.@ anon 11:45,it's just a joke naw ahn!

    ReplyDelete
  9. TOUN!!!!! Oh my word!!

    Lol!!



    ReplyDelete